Sunday, 1 October 2017

An Apology To All Of The Fat People I've Hurt With My Account

When I found the online body positive community, I was thin. I wore a UK size 10, I had spent my entire life trying to lose weight, had battled anorexia, and had hated my body with every fibre of my being every step of the way.

So when I finally found a space in a tiny corner of the internet where people of every shape and size were embracing their bodies, I jumped straight in. They welcomed me, allowed me to learn from them, and cheered me on in overcoming my own lifetime of body hatred. None of us set out to become 'internet famous' or grow large followings - we were just a group of people healing together, figuring things out, trying to find our own happiness in a world that had taught us we weren't deserving of it, in one way or another.

Thursday, 21 September 2017

Body Positive Power

"You have the power to break out of the diet cycle, to stop giving money to companies that profit from our self-hatred, and to take your happiness right now, instead of 10 pounds from now."
Body Positive Power

Just over a year ago, I got an email from an address that said penguinrandomhouse with a question about whether I'd ever thought of writing a book. Instant reaction: obviously a phishing scam. But upon inspection, the email was legit, I replied saying yes, and started the 9 month journey of growing a book baby and preparing to deliver it to the world (you guys).

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

When 3 Bopo Babes Went to Miami

Nearly a year ago Melly, Anna and I started talking about going on holiday somewhere together, and since then we've probably almost gone on about 4 different ones - first it was Vegas, then it was Barcelona, then it was Amsterdam, then it was Greece, and eventually, it became Miami.

Before this trip, I'd never met either of them before. But I was pretty sure I was not being Catfished, since I've known both Melly (@yourstruelymelly) and Anna (@glitterandlazers) on Instagram for around 3 years (Melly was actually the first body positive account I ever found, way back when we were the #pizzasisters4lyfe and Taylor Swift's Shake It Off was the original #donthatetheshake song).

Sunday, 30 July 2017

What To Do If You Just Can't Love Your Body

A lot of the time body positivity feels like it comes with an all-or-nothing mentality. Captions that just scream LOVE YOUR BODY with no mention of how, and hundreds of pictures of people (seemingly effortlessly) embracing their squishy parts in swimwear can feel pretty damn alienating if you're just not in that place. You might even feel like it's not worth trying anymore, because you can't ever see yourself getting to that level of self love.

But here's the reality: self love isn't a switch that you can flick on and suddenly all of your body image issues just evaporate into nowhere. You are trying to unlearn a lifetime of negative conditioning about your body. And not only is that really fucking difficult, that kind of healing takes time, practice, and a whole lot of emotional energy. 

Saturday, 15 July 2017

7 Things I Want You to Know if 'To The Bone' Triggered You

This is not a film review. At this point I'm less concerned about getting my own opinion on To The Bone out there, and I'm more concerned about the people in recovery who couldn't resist watching it. Because I get it - if this film came out while I was in recovery I probably would have watched it 10 times by now, and the anorexia driven part of my brain would have stored up every last piece of evidence from it that it could to use as a reasons to keep me captive. And when it comes to this film, there is a whole lot of potential evidence that someone with an eating disordered brain could gather.

So for anyone currently in recovery, who's watched the film and is now hearing that internal eating disorder voice louder than before, this is for you.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Why My Self Love Is Make-Up Free, and Why Yours Doesn't Have To Be

I've spent the last 6 weeks make-up free. For some people, that's no big deal, but for me? Going out in the world barefaced still sometimes feels like going into the beauty standards battle with no armour. It's still the part of my body that I have to remind myself is good enough the most often, and I still sometimes struggle to believe it.

I started wearing a full face of make-up when I was 11, and pretty much didn't take it off for the next 10 years. For a decade I truly believed that my natural face was too hideous to inflict on the outside world - I wouldn't go to school without make-up on, I wouldn't answer the door (even to the postman) without make-up on, even when I was living in a residential psychiatric unit during my eating disorder, I would set an alarm before the daily wake-up call so that I could spend 45 minutes brushing, lining and colouring in. It really wasn't optional. Not in my mind, anyway.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Cocktails, Bikinis and Belly Love

Hey loves! I thought I'd round up some of my favourite pictures from last month's trip to paradise to share with you all, along with the good, not so good, and the bopo triumphs of the holiday. Here goes!

First things first, bikini round up!

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

One Thing I Got Really Wrong About Body Positivity

When I stumbled into the online body positive community two and half years ago I was thinner than I am now. I'd just finished yet another outrageously restrictive diet plan and extreme exercise regime and I'd hit my goal weight - 140lbs and a UK size 10. Of course, it didn't make me happy, there was always more weight to lose, more 'problem areas' to fix', and just when I was starting to realise that I couldn't starve and hate myself any longer, along came body positivity to save the day! I like to picture it flying in with a pink sparkly cape and a cake made out of rainbows and smiles that we can all eat and be happy.

The point being, I was thin when I found body positivity. I was welcomed into the community and given all the love and support in the world from the people there with bodies bigger than mine.

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

An Open Letter To Iskra Lawrence (With New Update!)

Hey Iskra!

We've never spoken before, but I know that we have things in common. We both use social media to promote body positivity, self love, and eating disorder recovery. I've seen you do some kick ass interviews about bopo where you speak so passionately about overcoming your insecurities to pursue modeling, and I've cheered you on for that. But girl, we need to talk about what's just happened. We need to talk about you partnering up with SELF magazine to promote a New Year's diet and workout challenge and posting it on your social media for the world to see.