Sunday, 30 July 2017

What To Do If You Just Can't Love Your Body

A lot of the time body positivity feels like it comes with an all-or-nothing mentality. Captions that just scream LOVE YOUR BODY with no mention of how, and hundreds of pictures of people (seemingly effortlessly) embracing their squishy parts in swimwear can feel pretty damn alienating if you're just not in that place. You might even feel like it's not worth trying anymore, because you can't ever see yourself getting to that level of self love.

But here's the reality: self love isn't a switch that you can flick on and suddenly all of your body image issues just evaporate into nowhere. You are trying to unlearn a lifetime of negative conditioning about your body. And not only is that really fucking difficult, that kind of healing takes time, practice, and a whole lot of emotional energy. 

Saturday, 15 July 2017

7 Things I Want You to Know if 'To The Bone' Triggered You

This is not a film review. At this point I'm less concerned about getting my own opinion on To The Bone out there, and I'm more concerned about the people in recovery who couldn't resist watching it. Because I get it - if this film came out while I was in recovery I probably would have watched it 10 times by now, and the anorexia driven part of my brain would have stored up every last piece of evidence from it that it could to use as a reasons to keep me captive. And when it comes to this film, there is a whole lot of potential evidence that someone with an eating disordered brain could gather.

So for anyone currently in recovery, who's watched the film and is now hearing that internal eating disorder voice louder than before, this is for you.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Why My Self Love Is Make-Up Free, and Why Yours Doesn't Have To Be

I've spent the last 6 weeks make-up free. For some people, that's no big deal, but for me? Going out in the world barefaced still sometimes feels like going into the beauty standards battle with no armour. It's still the part of my body that I have to remind myself is good enough the most often, and I still sometimes struggle to believe it.

I started wearing a full face of make-up when I was 11, and pretty much didn't take it off for the next 10 years. For a decade I truly believed that my natural face was too hideous to inflict on the outside world - I wouldn't go to school without make-up on, I wouldn't answer the door (even to the postman) without make-up on, even when I was living in a residential psychiatric unit during my eating disorder, I would set an alarm before the daily wake-up call so that I could spend 45 minutes brushing, lining and colouring in. It really wasn't optional. Not in my mind, anyway.